When Brandon started showing signs of autism his delay became more and more evident. Now, Brandon is nearly three and a half and Karson is four and a couple months. The milestones for their ages are somewhat comparable when you look at them broadly. In fact, if Brandon was born just 5 days earlier, they would be in the same kindergarten class. It blows my mind to think of them being ready for kindergarten in the same year. I'm very thankful Brandon's birthday falls when it does. He will be one of the older kids in class, versus the youngest with a disorder that encompasses a developmental delay.
Karson is a wonderful cousin. He is a beautiful child, inside and out. He shows an enormous amount of patience with Brandon, who has trouble socially engaging with his peers. Karson tries so hard to play with Brandon, many times only to be ignored. He has learned to play with Brandon in a way that Brandon likes in order to get some time with him. He's done this for more than a year and continues to accommodate Brandon when they play. I wish I could say this is due to my stellar parenting and encouragement from our entire family. While this of course helps, there are certain things that just cannot be taught. There is a level of compassion and acceptance that can only be reached if that is a part of your core.
I wish this picture captured the enormous smile Karson had on his face when he looked at me and said, "Look, Brandon has his arm on me!" He was absolutely beaming. Karson fully understands what an significant show of affection it is for Brandon to not only put is arm around Karson, but to keep it there. This is how Brandon says, "I love you, Karson."Karson also looks out for Brandon. I will never forget the day we were at my parent's lake house on a family vacation last summer. I turned around and saw Brandon sitting on the top back of a chair. I darted over because it should have toppled right over, taking Brandon down with it. It happened so fast that I didn't have time to ponder why the chair hadn't fallen. When I got there, Karson was sitting in the chair next to Brandon. He was casually eating his breakfast with one hand, and holding Brandon's chair down with the other hand. The awareness Karson had in that moment, for someone other than himself, still amazes me when I think about it. He was only three years old then. It's impressive that he instinctively protected Brandon, yet he didn't feel the need to tell anyone about it. He didn't try to get attention for it, or complain that he could only eat with one hand, or yell at Brandon to get down. He just helped him.
This is just one display of compassion and understanding. There are a lot of little things that he does to look out for Brandon from day to day. A while back my sister (Karson's mom) told Brandon to be careful with something because he was going to break it. Karson shouts to her from across the room, "He's not going to break it, mom!" I could go on and on with little stories like this.
Karson doesn't understand the concept of autism, but he knows that Brandon is different. He understands that Brandon is special, and he embraces this.
If you want to know how to treat a child with autism, look to my nephew. He will show you. At three years old, this kid accomplished what many adults fail to do.
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| At Karson's birthday party, Brandon was sitting by himself listening to the music. Karson joined him. |
